Warning: Do Not Use Click-Bait of Impossible-to-Attain Butt-Cheeks If You Are Writing a Self-Help Article Meant to “Empower” Me. (As with all Medium publications, please consult a woman first before you try to convince one that you are on her side and see her as a whole person. Self-help articles & “size zero” butt cheeks w/no face attached are contra-indicated and could lead to serious health risks.)

Aaaaargh!

So you need a photo to go with your self-help headline, which is:

“Stay single until you find some- one willing to put work into the relationship.”

And the photo you choose is some lady’s butt cheeks?

I’m not just talkin’ butt cheeks.

(Like the ones I drew myself, pictured above, thank-you-very-much!)

I’m talkin’…

triple-filtered, ultra-airbrushed, super-sanitized, expertly waxed, well-lit, upper-middle-class white lady, skinny thighs no cellulite, evenly distributed spray tan in a white thong on the beach w/no damn face showing butt cheeks!

So…. yeah, sure it got my attention. But based solely on the choice of photo, I’m now refusing to read your article, or link to it. And that’s pretty impressive considering the headline is EXACTLY the kinda thing I go for on here. But I just can’t do it.

*All photos/artwork by me, ‘cause IIIIIII’m allowwwed to post butt cheeks (in this context.)