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Mary Birdsong

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Magical Writers Cafe

The Most Annoying New Usage of an Old Word I’ve Noticed Lately Is…

Jan 13, 2022

The Most Annoying New Usage of an Old Word I’ve Noticed Lately Is…

Jan 13, 2022

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I haven't even watched MAID yet, but growing up, I watched my own mom work as a maid.

I didn't just watch her work as a maid; I helped, becoming her part-time apprentice before I'd even turned eight. I got pretty good at…

Nov 11, 2021

I haven't even watched MAID yet, but growing up, I watched my own mom work as a maid.

Nov 11, 2021

Pinned

THE PINNING PANDEMIC

Rarely talked about, painful, and often poverty-inducing, the sadistic practice of body mortification is going on right here in 21st…

Jun 1, 2017

THE PINNING PANDEMIC

Jun 1, 2017

This Comment Is Under 200 Words.

How to write a comment that qualifies as flash-non-fiction.

Jun 22, 2021

This Comment Is Under 200 Words.

Jun 22, 2021

Hell, yeah!

May 23, 2021

May 23, 2021

I relate to this on so many levels.

May 23, 2021

May 23, 2021

Warning: Do Not Use Click-Bait of Impossible-to-Attain Butt-Cheeks If You Are Writing a Self-Help…

Aaaaargh!

Dec 14, 2019

Warning: Do Not Use Click-Bait of Impossible-to-Attain Butt-Cheeks If You Are Writing a Self-Help…

Dec 14, 2019

Your Best Ideas Might Be In Here

[Like most of the writing I manage to actually DO these days, this essay began as a quick comment I was posting to an article I’d just read…

Feb 9, 2019

Your Best Ideas Might Be In Here

Feb 9, 2019

How Drawing Helped Me Remember My Dreams.

After years of doing this doodle-fueled dream-recall ritual first thing in the morning, I can now remember as many as five or six different…

Jun 10, 2018

How Drawing Helped Me Remember My Dreams.

Jun 10, 2018

Oyster

Two years ago today you left this Earth.

Jun 9, 2018

Oyster

Jun 9, 2018

One Man’s Castle Is Another Woman’s Treasure.

Just now I had a strange, intensely emotional experience with a painting.

Jan 21, 2018

One Man’s Castle Is Another Woman’s Treasure.

Jan 21, 2018

When Vin Diesel Goes All VanGogh On You:

or… In Defense Of James Franco-American

Jan 16, 2018

When Vin Diesel Goes All VanGogh On You:

Jan 16, 2018

This Is a Witch Hunt! (Sayeth the Witch Dude Grabbing the Midwife’s Ass)

The Witches of SleazeDicks is a sleeper hit that sleeps soooo much it’s starting to wonder if it’s just a depressed short film. Watch and…

Dec 9, 2017

This Is a Witch Hunt! (Sayeth the Witch Dude Grabbing the Midwife’s Ass)

Dec 9, 2017

This was MY Friday night.

“compare & despair,” and feeling like a perpetual outsider:

Oct 1, 2017

This was MY Friday night.

Oct 1, 2017

Dear Statues of America: Don’t Be Scared.

Ugh. Playing hostess to Lily & Gordon, here, can be exhausting. ESPECIALLY now. Ever since the Charlottesville mishigas they’re both so…

Aug 23, 2017

Dear Statues of America: Don’t Be Scared.

Aug 23, 2017

Get Off Tina’s Sheetcakin’ Back!

In solidarity with my comedy sister, I’ll confess I had a pretty sick sketch comedy idea (or, a “flash” if you will) pop into my head this…

Aug 19, 2017

Get Off Tina’s Sheetcakin’ Back!

Aug 19, 2017

Both Sides Now: a Protest Song for Heather Heyer

Ever since his “both sides” rant, Joni Mitchell’s hippie-friendly anthem “Both Sides Now” has been running through my head.

Aug 19, 2017

Aug 19, 2017

Sometimes sobriety’s all sunflowers & uplifting epithets, strangers clapping for U in church…

“Yeah, I see ya.”

May 24, 2017

Sometimes sobriety’s all sunflowers & uplifting epithets, strangers clapping for U in church…

May 24, 2017

LIC: CAUGHT IN THE CULTURAL COCKFIGHT

Yesssss, LIC . It Ain’t Yuh Grampa’s Queens No Mawwr

Dec 6, 2016

LIC: CAUGHT IN THE CULTURAL COCKFIGHT

Dec 6, 2016

Huh. Weeeeird…. so wait, does this mean SOME of those crazy left-wing, anti-Trump cry-babies:

ARE folks w/working class street-cred?

Nov 17, 2016

Huh. Weeeeird…. so wait, does this mean SOME of those crazy left-wing, anti-Trump cry-babies:

Nov 17, 2016

Mary Birdsong

Mary Birdsong

I like my words done medium-well. (Succession, Daily Show, Reno 911, Broadway) Subscribe to my YouTubes! YouTube.com/marybirdsongtv

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